Imagine you and your partner are facing a major decision in their relationship. Arguments are frequent and there’s no end to misunderstandings. It feels like both of you are talking a foreign language. You can find help from the unsung marriage and family therapist.

Marriage and family therapy (MFTs), however, is not limited to couples facing separation. Family therapists help support families with all kinds of problems. A MFT can wear many different hats. What are their duties? It is to help people resolve conflict, improve communication, and create stronger relationships.

Imagine Sarah and John married for ten-years, yet lately they have felt more like friends than partners. When yet another fight over money became out of hand, the couple sought help from an MFT. It wasn’t as if the therapist waved her magic wand and offered a single solution. Instead, she offered a place where the two could share their thoughts and feelings freely without feeling judged.

“John,” She asked softly during one of her sessions, “how does it feel to you when Sarah mentions money issues?” John resisted at first but opened up eventually about his concerns over his financial security, which he attributed to his past experiences. Sarah saw the truth for the first time, having always thought John’s actions were a result of stubbornness.

Therapists adapt their methods to fit the individual needs of families. Role-playing can be used by some to make people see life from the perspective of another. They may also use cognitive behavioral strategies to shift negative thought processes that are fueling conflict.

The therapy process is not easy. Everyone involved must commit to the process. In the midst of these emotional and difficult moments, you may find yourself feeling exposed. Through these emotional and vulnerable moments, true healing occurs.

The Martinez family was dealing with their teenaged son’s rebellious behaviors after relocating to a different city as a result of transferring jobs. Mr. Martinez wasn’t too happy either about the move! It was suggested by their therapist that they hold weekly family sessions where everybody could share concerns in a respectful manner. With time, the sessions became more focused on solving problems as a group and less about airing their grievances.

A lot of people aren’t aware how much work goes into training to become a MFT. It takes a lot of training, followed closely by an internship before these professionals can start practicing independently.

There is still stigma attached to seeking therapy. Particularly in some age groups and cultures, asking for help can be seen as a weakness. Consider this question: When your car breaks down, do you decide to repair it on your own even if mechanically you are completely inept? It’s likely that you would immediately contact a professional mechanic who has the necessary training and experience to fix your car.

So why would mental health be different? When something seems off with your emotional or relationship state, wouldn’t you also seek professional guidance?

Think about it: Trying DIY therapy using just self-help books is like trying surgery by watching Grey’s Anatomy repeats. Not very advisable, would you say? Sure, these books can give you some insights. But nothing compares to a specialized professional who has been trained specifically for this type of work!

What about those old idioms mentioned before? One of those idioms that we mentioned earlier is “it takes two to tango”. This simply means that successful relationships need effort on both ends.

A MFT’s holistic approach is what separates them from other therapists. They consider every factor that affects an individual and their family, not only isolated symptoms.

The next time you have a problem in your relationships, remember to ask for help. You may be surprised by the results.